It’s still cool and sunny and I have a new technique for living with this constant wolves-in-my-chest fear.
It’s a crazy person’s technique, fitting for a crazy person like me. I give the fear away. It is meat to be thrown to animals. It is rotting in me, so I take it out and throw it away. There is a prayer, or a spell. “Please take this.” I am a lady throwing bread to birds. They carry it away.
My theory is that there are creatures who live on this, vultures or those fish at the bottom of tanks, swift and hungry invisible creatures. It’s hard not to picture them as nightmares, even though they help me live. Have you ever seen a mosquito hawk? It’s like a flying spider. They frightened me when I was little – but they eat pests.
“Please take this. Please take this. Please take my fear.”
I don’t know why it works.