Monthly Archives: November 2012

Valentine’s in November

My chest hurt. I checked my email obsessively. I felt this unusual kind of needing, like where I was and what I had was suddenly not enough to live on. It’s been so long since I had a crush on … Continue reading

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Thanksgiving

I want to write about my dad. He’s a gentle man, the kind who will eat food he didn’t order because he doesn’t want to make a scene in the middle of the restaurant. He smiles at people and asks … Continue reading

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Fish Bowl

I am jumping. From my bed to the kitchen to the front room. From the future to the past to imaginary people. I think I am acting like a depressed person. I think I could convince people that I am … Continue reading

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Declaration of Faith

I am not religious. I do not believe that there are any great beings pulling the strings behind the events of our lives. I don’t think anything that happens is necessarily leading up to anything worth suffering for. I have … Continue reading

Posted in Addiction Recovery, Being Crazy, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Off-Day

It’s 3:22 in the morning. If anxiety is a pack of dogs in my chest, sadness is something murkier. It’s something ancient and giant at the bottom of the ocean, slowly stirring awake. On the surface it may look like … Continue reading

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Thinking about Therapists

I saw my first therapist when I was seven or eight. She was a grief counselor. I played with toys in her office and sometimes we talked about my mom. Then I would sit in the waiting room while she … Continue reading

Posted in Ruminations, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Scars

Trigger warning: You may not want to read this if you are trying to break a self-harm habit. I was at a lake with some friends, some innocent Springtime skinnydipping. The air was cold but the sky was so bright and … Continue reading

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