Monthly Archives: December 2012

Happy New Year

I am used to living without goals. Getting home safe at the end of the day is enough of a challenge anyway. And there is a part of me that likes living beneath plans and to-do lists and success. Part … Continue reading

Posted in Being Crazy, Good Days, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Shame

I’ve written before about why I don’t like to tell people my diagnoses. I left some stuff off that list, like not wanting to be that person who talks about herself too much, or the fact that such things rarely … Continue reading

Posted in Addiction Recovery, AvPD, Being Crazy, Ruminations, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Christmastime

The upside of Christmas is presents and seeing family I never get to see and watching millions of movies with my dad. The downside is this weird time warp where I’m sleeping in the bed where I used to get … Continue reading

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Okay, This Is My Last Post about Relationships

Because I don’t think I’ll be trying one again. I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone. This is different from saying “I’ve never hurt anyone.” I’m starting to think of my inner world and the real world as distinct kingdoms. They need … Continue reading

Posted in AvPD, Being Crazy, Relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

I Am an Asshole

I hate people who fall in love easily, that special prickly hate that can only be fueled by jealousy. They have found it, I think, that connecting point between abstract thought and reality. They know how to take thoughts and … Continue reading

Posted in AvPD, Being Crazy, Relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged | 1 Comment

Overexposure

Nope, this is too much. I have this entity in my mind that tries to keep me from revealing too much. That’s its entire job. It just watches and listens and sounds the alarm when I let too much out. … Continue reading

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Boys

It turns out that email is the perfect way for me to flirt, if not the only way I can do it. It’s intimate and impersonal at the same time. It lacks the anxiety and awkwardness of facial expressions, hands, … Continue reading

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