Nope, this is too much.
I have this entity in my mind that tries to keep me from revealing too much. That’s its entire job. It just watches and listens and sounds the alarm when I let too much out.
I’ve been on some kind of self-expression bender lately, with this blog and emails and posting links to writing projects on Facebook. I’ve been an idiot. It feels like a major breach. It feels like ants in me. Some kind of infestation.
I’ve tripped some kind of wire. I want to delete everything I’ve ever done. I think I’m not going to. I want to see if it’s possible to reach the other side of this feeling. They say when things have been shitty for long enough, you will take these risks just to see if anything can change.
I just need to say for the record that I hate this.