Dammit, I’m being swallowed up by Small World again.
My job provokes more anxiety than I can handle. The constant interaction with strangers, the office politics, the dysfunctional environment. I would love to quit, but: a) I need the money, b) I need the insurance, c) quitting would screw over my co-workers, who would have to cover for me, and d) I’m terrified of having that conversation with my boss. She would be confused and angry.
So instead I just retreat. I spend all of my free time reading and refusing to think about the future. I need to make plans. I need to take steps to make my plans possible. But every thought just paralyzes me.
It all comes down to my room and my bed and my pets, yet again. My computer screen and my books.
There’s a way out of Small World, but it terrifies me.