The change happened so suddenly. I cleaned my apartment. I read a couple of books. Like incantations, like potions, these things made me better.
I’ve been feeling very human lately. I’ve been talking to people, getting some writing done, even making travel plans for the end of the summer. I don’t know how a person can just blip into existence after weeks of barely being there at all, but sometimes it happens.
Managing alcohol has been a huge part of it, I think. There have been long stretches of days when I didn’t drink at all. It’s not as hard as it used to be; I’m really getting the hang of going to bed without a buzz. It feels normal, even. People live like this. I can too.
This is what treatment is for, I guess. It doesn’t keep away the bad days forever. But the good days seem to be coming closer and closer together for me. I think I’ve gone years without feeling like I do now. Not fantastic or immortal but just…like a person.