Monthly Archives: September 2012

Amends

I’ve made it to Step Nine, which means I’m supposed to be contacting people I’ve hurt and trying to make amends to them. It’s like an episode of My Name Is Earl, with fewer hijinks and a less likeable lead … Continue reading

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Feels Like Fall

When it’s sunny and cool and it feels like Halloween, it is easier to focus on gratitude. (I am feeling self-doubt as I write this. Sometimes I have the strength to sic a dog on it, chomp it up. Shut … Continue reading

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I Am a Terrible Friend

I love a lot of people, and I love them a lot. They say things that surprise me. They accomplish things that inspire me. They comfort me, sometimes from eight hundred miles away. But I love them like the moon … Continue reading

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Spirit Writing

I discovered silence when I was a kid. At first it was an act of taking in, holding thoughts behind my teeth. It kept away glances and criticism; it kept me out of trouble. We all find ways of staying … Continue reading

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Things I Wish “Normal” People Knew: Alcohol Edition

Avoiding alcohol entirely is actually the path of least resistance. One drink sets off something in my chest. The sight of a nearly empty glass makes me so sad. It’s a kind of loneliness. It makes me need, need, need. … Continue reading

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So Many Footsteps

Being a crazy woman is kind of a grand tradition. You can find us throughout history, getting locked away in attics and throwing ourselves into rivers. We’re frightening, yet also weak and pretty ineffectual. We’re generally overpowered, unless we’re the … Continue reading

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Why I Don’t Like to Tell People my Diagnoses

I don’t want to be treated like a child. I don’t want to make excuses for myself. I don’t want people to be worried about me. I don’t want anyone to see that part of me. It would be like … Continue reading

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Introduction

There is this thing that lives in my chest. It’s been called depression and anxiety. It’s been called unresolved grief and avoidant personality disorder. It’s been called bullshit and self-absorption. I use to picture it as a hole or a … Continue reading

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