Tag Archives: avoidant personality disorder

So Long, Farewell

I started this blog on September 18, 2012. I had just been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. I had recently gotten sober and was trying to finish college. I was overflowing with things to say and had no one to … Continue reading

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Spillover

Here’s my goal right now: it’s less about actually being healthy or happy, and more about keeping my defects as contained as I can. It’s strange how long the fear of being shamed can endure, way past the point where … Continue reading

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Nights and Days

It’s bizarre how different my mornings are from my evenings. Mornings are a time of sleepy competence, when I may not want to be up but I can still make coffee and get dressed on time. Sitting in my car … Continue reading

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Damaged Enough

I had my first session of a new therapy group/”skills class” earlier this week. I caught myself doing this weird but familiar thing as I walked in the room; assessing my mood and the current state of my life, worrying … Continue reading

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Wandering back into therapy

I had my last appointment with a therapist sometime last summer, I think. We didn’t officially wrap anything up; I just stopped going. I was busy with my new job and sick of shelling out for co-pays. I didn’t feel … Continue reading

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What’s So Scary?

It’s a little late for New Year’s resolutions, but I have been trying to try a new thing: less time on mindless websites, more time reading real books, or writing, or basically existing in the world in some substantial way. … Continue reading

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I Suck at Being Queer

Well, sometimes it feels that way. God knows I’ve tried. I’ve hung out in gay clubs, joined a drag troupe (that I quickly dropped out of because my social anxiety was too much at the time), flirted with women online. … Continue reading

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